to ramble pt. 2 (a melancholy post)

I'm currently in one of my moods. Meaning that I need to DO something or GO somewhere or SEE someone. But it's a Thursday night, at the beginning of July, in the middle of a pandemic. So you see my problem. I'm a little stuck.

Some people would say I need to just stop and look around and stop whining because I have everything I could ever need, and so much more. And it's true, so I feel bad.

But do you never just get a mood?

Let's talk about moods.

I have so many different moods all the time. My mood right now is a mixture of melancholy-ness and wanderlust. I'm feeling RESTLESS. But probably tomorrow I'll be in my life-is-good-Natalia-stop-thinking-about-everything-you want-and-don't-have-and-just-be-grateful mood. I guess you might say my moods are complicated. I don't know. (Just kidding, I absolutely do know, my moods most definitely are complicated and that's not a good thing either.)

Well, okay, sometimes complicated moods are a good thing I think. It means you feel more deeply than some people, and that can totally be a good thing too. On the other hand, you don't want to sound too too dramatic all the time, and moody people can be too dramatic.

Oh and that's the other thing. I have different personalities. I'm different around different people, and I don't like that I'm that way.

Around my all-over-the-place older sister, I'm the practical one. She needs that I think. (don't tell her I said that.) Actually, around my entire family, I would come across as practical.

Around my friends I'm. Yeah, I don't even know. Kind of crazy but also like a little too sensible/practical, DON'T ask me how that even works.

And funny thing, around people I don't know, I would appear as bubbly. You'd think that if I call myself a practical person that I would come across as calm and chill. But when I'm around people I don't know that well, I'm nervous, and try super hard to come across as not nervous. I think I usually accomplish that, because I'm not what you would call a socially awkward person at all. But in trying to not be nervous, I come across as loud. Does that even make sense??

So that's moods. I'm just going to put some random quotes here. Stuff I SO TOTALLY relate with, and tell me if you're the same.